BETTER

Lately I've been thinking I really want to become a much better person. I think motherhood has done it to me. When Micah and I were first married I felt this way, but not to the same degree. It has increased by a thousand percent or more! Anyway, it's a strong desire I've had for a while. I feel like I need to be doing so much more with my life. I mean, it's GREAT to teach and I really do feel like and know that I make a difference in the lives of my students and help them to build confidence, but in the end I get paid to do that. I want to have goals and do things to make me better. I read the blogs of my friends and I think that they are just such great people who I truly admire. I want to be that way. I want to be a good person. I know that I don't necessarily do really bad things, but I don't like when I judge others or even when I have road rage. I have serious guilt about those things afterward. I don't like that I don't do as much service as I would like. It's not like I can't find opportunities to do service, I just don't necessarily seek them out. I wish that I was developing my whole self more often. I want to be one of those people that others want to be around, who makes them feel happy, who builds up their confidence, like so many of my friends. I don't want this to sound like such a downer post, because it's not meant to be one. I really am not depressed or think I'm a horrible person :), I just know that people can always be better than they are and I hope to actually progress. Changes can be made though, and they will be... that is the point of this post. The Church is such a great help to me by reminding me that I am a child of God, but I can always do better. I know that I can look toward the Savior for an example and that is where my changes will start.