ONE

My dear, dear Brighton,

Once again as I brought a child into the world things did not turn out as well as I expected. You came so early and so tiny and I, once again, was scared. I was scared that I had done something wrong, that I hadn’t paid attention to warning signs, that I had somehow failed you. 

When I first went to the hospital the morning of your birth I did not think I would have a baby. I did not think that I would have a baby that I would have to eventually leave behind in the hospital. But I did, and you know what? It ended up being a beautiful experience. Because of you I got to see the love that so many strangers can have for a baby. I received so much strength and support from the wonderful nurses who took care of you when I so badly wanted to but couldn’t. I got to know and learn to rely on the doctors that always looked for ways to improve your situation. Brighton, sometimes I got frustrated that so many other people got to take care of you and make decisions for your welfare when I couldn’t, but now I am so grateful for it.

I learned so much. I learned that I didn’t know everything just because I already had a child. I learned that sometimes I have to trust other people in scary situations. I learned again that God really is always there and He is someone to turn to at all times in life. Thank you, Brighton, for teaching me so much.

When you did get to come home you were still so small and had cords all over and I couldn’t imagine a time when you would be as big and as “normal” as a baby of your age. You proved me wrong though, my little love. You grew so fast and so strong! 

Your doctor was amazed with your progress. Your family was amazed with your progress. I was ecstatic with your progress. Could a baby who started out with so many struggles really have come so far so fast? Isn’t God so good?!

Before long you were a very healthy, very rambunctious little boy. You grew quickly and with so much excitement. You began to love food and I mean LOVE food!!! You loved everyone around you, but most of all you loved your sister. 

Watching you two interact has been such a beautiful blessing. Every time I see the two of you together, I can’t help but feel that my heart is going to burst with happiness. 

You two show me what true, unconditional love looks like. You two help me to want to be better. You, Brighton, help me to want to be a better mom, because you and Lila deserve it. 

My heart has grown so much bigger since adding you into our family. I’m so grateful that your father and I decided to act on faith and have a second child when we were nervous, because that meant we got to have you.

My little boy, you went from a baby who really struggled in the beginning, to a strong eater, smiler, giggler, laugher, roller, sitter-upper, cruiser, walker, and now even a runner. Baby boy, you walked at 9 ½ months old! You did that! You proved statistics wrong! You started on baby food late and now you eat whatever you can get your hands on! J You have continued to shine with personality. You are quickly growing out of being my baby boy, but you will always be my handsome and wonderful son.

We have made some wonderful memories as a family since you have come. We had all of the regular holidays together, but they seemed better this year… more magical. Our everyday life seems more magical. 

Brighton, please know that your father and I love you very much. We cannot believe the luck we had in getting you as a son. 

I want you to know that we will always love you and are grateful that you are a part of our forever family. I also want you to know that your Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love you. Please always turn to them in your life. Please remember where you came from. Please remember that you are a child of God! I love you, I love you, I love you.

                  Love always,

    Mom